Recent federal cuts raise questions about whether President Donald Trump’s administration aims to demolish and privatize part of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.
The Program 2025 project is a 922-page policy proposal blueprint published during the presidential campaign and aims to guide the Trump administration to win a second term with language, which suggests that NOAA “should be broken down and down” and that the NWS “should be completely commercialized its predicted actions.”
– ABC News, March 25, 2025
Are you bored with regular skydiving? Will the survival rate of basic jumps make you too high? Then, I give you the good news: You will soon have the opportunity to become a scientist in the world’s most dangerous storm.
According to an April 1 announcement, NOAA Hurricane Hunter has been sold to private venture capital firm Kickass Planetary Adventures.
NOAA spokesman April Furst said in a press release:
“Kickass Planetary Adventures will offer commercial hurricane hunters flights, bringing thrill-seeking weather enthusiasts into the eyes of hurricanes and seeing these incredible nature directly. The money from paid customers will fund these expensive flights, and customers will replace hurricane scientists who once collected and written on board.”
“After each mission, the client will be responsible for using AI to write research papers that we had to pay for in the past, saving a lot of money,” Furst added. “After all, using artificial intelligence is much cheaper than actual human intelligence than knowledge to do scientific research, with very little research quality.”
Fuster said starting fewer remote surveys during the mission could save further costs. Each expendable Dropsonde starts into a hurricane for about $1,500, and typically launches six or more Dropsondes during a mission.
But under the new venture, KPA customers will be equipped with custom-built hurricane-proof parachutes and enter the hurricane through specially modified tubes at the bottom of the plane for an ultimate thrill-seeking experience. When they get stuck in a storm, these brave storm lovers will carry an instrument pack to return detailed weather information.
When customers hit the ocean, the custom-designed Survivaball will be deployed so that they can safely experience the anger of hurricanes in the water while continuing to receive critical weather data. The new Survivaball will be based on the older X7 Survivaball, the Model Survivaball designed to provide a standalone living system for surviving extreme weather in climate change. X7 Model Survivaball motto: “While others want the Senate bill or the United Nations to provide consistency for climate solutions, we want our best engineers.”
Maybelline
To generate additional revenue, KPA Hunter will own company sponsor: eye makeup maker Maybelline, which goes beyond exclusive sponsorship from EyeDrop maker Visine.
Maybelline President David Greenwash said in a press release: “Mayblanc sponsoring the flight of Hurricane Eyes is a perfect public-private partnership, and from Maybelline’s perspective, is there any better way to attract attention to the power and beauty of eye makeup, rather than promoting the inexplicable eyes from the most powerful and impressive eyes, which could be a possible center?
Sponsorship will also allow Maybelline to insert plugins for its products into vortex data messages transmitted every time the aircraft penetrates the storm. The new “Project V” sample of Maybelline in Hurricane Hunter Whirlwind News is as follows:
URNT12 KWBC 152206
Eddy current data message AL092025
A. 15/21:37:14Z
B. 29.18 degrees Celsius n 078.00 ver w
C. 700 MB 3020 M
D. Extrap 988 MB
E.
F.Open e
G. C32
H. 47 Kt
I. 248 deg 35 nm 21:28:33z
J. 345 you 55 kt
K. 248 DEG 33 NM 21:29:07Z
L. 53 Kt
M. 068 ver 27 nm 21:43:46Z \
N. 166 you 56 kt
O. 068 Degin 23:42:39:Z
P. 13 C / 3058 M
Q. 15 C / 3058 m
R. 7 C/NA
S.12345 / 7
T. 0.01 / 2 nm
U. KPA2 0909A HUMBERTO OB 03
V. Use Maybelline eyeshadow to add subtle shimmer or dare to be bold with full glitter
New “Project V” enhancements will include hurricanes for both male and female names.
“We want to encourage people of all genders to try Maybelline's makeup,” said Maybelline President Greenwash.
Happy April Fool's Day!
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