WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald J. Trump signed an executive order today to rename the Fahrenheit temperature scale to “Ameritemp.” “I did it, man, it's formal,” and started straight from the White House.
“European metric system, a total disaster,” Trump said in the signing. “Their climate scientists can't even choose a name for temperature. Celsius? Celsius? Who knows? They're confused, weak. I'm using Ameritemp (best name, strong, all-American. It did.”
The order says every federal agency must now use “Ameritemp”. Documents, weather reports, everything. The freeze is still 32, the boiling 212 (perfect number, huge number), but now has a winning name.
“Whose Kelvin is that?” Trump added. “No one knows him. Some scientists, maybe a loser. We don't need it.
The White House said it was about leadership. America's number one, even under temperatures. Critics complain as usual, but supporters love it. Agents are moving quickly to achieve it. That's it, guys – ameritemp, stay here.
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