In the pantheon of academic absurdity, there are some works that are so mind-boggling that they shake faith in higher education. “Loving Brine Shrimp: Exploring Queer Feminist Blue Postanthropology to Reimagine the “American Dead Sea”” is such an essay. Reading this essay on the intersection of brine shrimp, queer theory, and “aquasexuality” is like stepping into a postmodern fever dream—a world where practical concerns like water scarcity take second place to the eroticism of aquatic ecosystems. debate. Fasten your seatbelts; it's going to be a rough ride.
abstract
This article aims to change the narrative about Utah's Great Salt Lake, often referred to as “America's Dead Sea,” by reimagining the image of the brine shrimp (Artemia franciscana) in science, culture, and art. It introduces the concept of hydrosexuality to bridge these fields, thereby enriching feminist blue postanthropology and feminist biology through arts-based practices and queer advocacy. By guiding GSL's environmental narrative, Waterborne Perspectives challenges settler science by exploring the connections between the brine shrimp's reproductive system and economics, ecology, and culture. This article provides an integrated cultural analytical framework that supports arguments for the lake's multi-layered development and expands the understanding that brine shrimp are critical to the survival of multiple species and the GSL as a unique ecosystem. Additionally, this cultural analysis draws inspiration from hyponutrition theory and queer death studies. This multifaceted approach is exemplified by two artistic case studies that are gradually changing white perceptions and understandings of brine shrimp, helping to reimagine GSL in the context of rapid climate change.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10806-024-09934-0
“Hydrosexuality” – Yes, it's a thing
introduce
It's a love story that aims to change the narrative about the Great Salt Lake through how people imagine brine shrimp in science, Culture and Arts. It explores the concept of aqueous sexuality to mediate these areas, Empowering feminist blue posthumanities and feminist biology through artistic practices of queer advocacy you may not have heard of before.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10806-024-09934-0
Apparently, the Great Salt Lake's iconic brine shrimp are as much an object of philosophical speculation as they are extremophile crustaceans. The author coined the term “hydrosexuality,” a bold new concept that bridges the worlds of “feminist blue postanthropology” and “queer advocacy.” This involves imagining water as a “non-binary substance” that connects life throughout planetary ecosystems. Is it admirable? Maybe. funny? Absolutely.
The idea of ”hydrosexuality” raises some questions. Is this a critique of human hubris, or an academic prank that got out of hand? This so-called “water gesture” appears to be a rhetorical device, arguing that water, brine shrimp, and environmental justice are best understood through the lens of erotic fluidity. Because nothing says eco-initiative more than imagining brine shrimp in sexually charged metaphors.
Critique of “settler science”
The paper takes aim at “settler science,” viewing traditional ecological and biological research as a product of colonialism. An explanation for naming the brine shrimp Artemia In a way, this is part of “Imperial Biology” and feels like an extension of the Olympic level. Of course, let's ignore the actual need for Latin taxonomy in favor of a narrative that blames crustacean nomenclature on imperialism.
The author believes that the Great Salt Lake was wronged by both colonialists and capitalist industry. fair enough. But the solutions offered do not focus on policy, conservation or restoration. No, the answer clearly lies in embracing “queer blue postanthropology” and asking “How can we get people to love brine shrimp?” I wish I were joking.
The “marriage” of humans and brine shrimps
Yes, you read that right. In one of the most bizarre moments in academic history, the author discusses an art performance called “The Internet Wedding of the Brine Shrimp.” The ceremony includes vows to the tiny crustacean, followed by a procession across the dry bed of the Great Salt Lake and a public bathhouse that is poetically described as “making love to the lake.”
Who needs actual environmental activism when you can marry a shrimp? This performance aims to challenge humanity's exploitative relationship with nature. But it feels less like meaningful advocacy and more like a satire of academic performance art.
Sea Monkeys and the Decline of Civilization
The author has a special disdain for Harold von Braunhut, the inventor of the iconic “sea monkey”. The whimsical marketing of brine shrimp to children is considered part of a sinister colonial capitalist agenda. Apparently, turning brine shrimp into children's toys is an act of ecological violence disguised as family fun. Because heaven doesn’t allow children to marvel at tiny aquatic creatures without considering the impact on the environment.
The product has been marketed to children in the United States and around the world since the late 1960s by mail-order marketer, inventor, and white supremacist Harold von Braunhut (Brott, 2000). Working with scientific advisor and marine biologist Anthony D'Agostino, he obtained a patent for selling brine shrimp cysts that are “resurrected” with the addition of water, salt and chemically formulated nutrients. What was once cheap fish food has become a vibrant illusion hatched in a small plastic jar included in the product packaging. Drawing on perspectives provided by queer death studies (Radomska et al., 2017). 2021, p. 2), The ambiguous status and reproductive agency of brine shrimp, Hovering between “life” and “non-life”, scientifically called “cryptobiosis” state, Redesigned for fun, Concealing environmental violence. I think the distribution of this example of a creature fiction pet amplifies the characterization of the brine shrimp as a creature unworthy of sympathy.
salty conclusion
This article is less about saving the Great Salt Lake and more about using the Great Salt Lake as a theoretical platform for self-indulgence. The environmental crisis it describes – shrinking lakes due to water transfers – is real, despite the knee-jerk tendency to blame climate change. But instead of proposing practical solutions, the research disappears into a vortex of jargon-laden metaphysics and half-baked social criticism.
The Great Salt Lake doesn't need “watery commentary” or edgy shrimp weddings. It needs real science, real conservation efforts and real policy to protect its fragile ecosystems. The paper, while colorful, is an example of what happens when academic naval observations replace actionable ideas.
In the immortal words of the brine shrimp: Please stop.
This performance art queer theory atrocity video can be viewed on X at the following link:
https://twitter.com/i/status/1861460588225827276
H/T Colin Wright, @SwipeWright
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